To be or not to be... In A Relationship

Andi Here-- one of "the girls" and proud of it! So here's the thing... I have come to find out that part of being one of the girls is that... you have to be able to make even the simplest little thing into a big complicated and confusing mess. My situation? Well To be or not to be... in a relationship. I mean what is a relationship anyway? Isn't it just to be with another person whom you care about and who cares about you!?! And in that there are all sorts of other rules like don't lie or cheat.... yeah that's the big one cheating! Heres the deal... i spent 3-4 years, depending on which one of us you ask... in a serious relationship. Yes, i used the word serious to describe a relationship that i entered into when i was a mere 17 years old. And i LOVED the guy... i really did i LOVED him. I gave this guy everything that i had plus some and then i found out he did the unthinkable... he cheated on me... not once my friends, no not twice and not even three times... nope this guy was with 6 other girls that i know of... and well... I'm still 100%... well lets me honest maybe 50% still hopelessly in LOVE with him... What the hell is that about? Sooo... ya know i guess your probably thinking that the problem here is that i don't want to get into another relationship and be cheated on because I'm totally and completely damaged by my first LOVE. If your thinking that.... your definitely 100% WRONG. Yep, that's right its me, I'm afraid of the idea of not being able to be with anyone i want. Quoting one of Brooks infamous man friends " I think i want to keep my life options open". Yes that's right, I'm quoting the jackass one of the three... and not proud of it! When did being in a relationship stop being a good thing and start being a restraint on life? Why am i so afraid that if i call this guy my boyfriend that the world will end as i know it!?! I'm not really sure.. but here is the thing that bothers me most. I've been seeing, dating or sleeping with (whatever you wanna call it) for about a month now. And some days i think "Wow, this guy is a REAL nice guy, he is honest, and loyal and he really likes me a lot, and i think i like him a lot too" And then.... there are the days that i want to be as far away from the guy as i possible can. Sooo after coming off of FANTASTIC weekend high with this guy i'm thinking yeah why not!?! I should just jump right onto facebook and change my relationship status to the dreaded "in a relationship". HAHA sounds easy right!?! Sounds like one of those simple little things that one should be able to do with ... i dunno say... the click of a button. But NOPE! Can't do it and Won't do it! Do i like him or don't i like him? Do i wanna be with just him? I don't see why not because i haven't been with anyone else since i started seeing him.. I've already entered into a monogamy but the title then means that it is part of the RULES to be monogamous .. and I'm simply just not the type of girl who likes to follow the rules....